Dana Rogers holds a photo of her son, Rick, who died in 2005. Rogers, a member of the Galveston County Chapter of The Compassionate Friends, will participate in a Worldwide Candle Lighting Dec. 13.
Rick Rogers seemed to have a gentle premonition of his death. The Texas A&M graduate was visiting at the Texas City home of his parents, Erick and Dana Rogers, four years ago when the talk took a sentimental turn.
“He said, ‘I’m so blessed to have a family like this,’” Dana Rogers said. “He sat on the cabinet and swung his legs like he did when he was a kid.”
The family even discussed death.
“He said, ‘If I die, I want an Aggie funeral,’” Dana said.
“It’s so unbelievable that a week later, we were doing it, like he asked.”
Rogers’ accidental drowning occurred in the cold waters of the Aransas National Wildlife Refuge on Feb. 3, 2005. Rogers, 23, part of a conservation team working with whooping cranes, apparently went into the water to retrieve a boat and probably was felled by hypothermia.
The family got the call late at night and raced to the refuge north of Rockport.
“They were saying maybe he had crawled up onto the bank.... I knew he was cold wherever he was.... It was a folding-in, a crushing (feeling),” she said.
But Rick had not crawled out onto a bank. He had gone under. His body was recovered the next day.
Dana has told this story many times, not to dwell on the horror, but to help others. As a member of the Galveston County chapter of the Compassionate Friends, she shares with other grieving parents.
Next month, she will take part in the nonprofit support group’s largest event of the year, the Worldwide Candle Lighting. The program, set for Dec. 13, attracts more than 200 participants, with a candle lit by each family to honor children who have died.
Candles are lit for one hour, starting at 7 p.m. local time, around the world, creating a virtual wave of light from time zone to time zone in thousands of candle lighting events.
The Galveston County chapter event also includes:
• A memory table where families place small mementos or a framed picture of their children.
• A fellowship time, with doors opening at 5:30 p.m. when families can view the memory table, literature and other materials from Compassionate Friends.
• A slide show.
• An opportunity to buy bricks for the Children’s Memorial Garden.
• A Memory Tree with families and friends writing notes to their child, to be hung as tags on the tree.
When Dana attended her first candle lighting four years ago, she sat quietly. “It’s a comforting feeling, like you’re being enveloped with others who are on the same road you are,” she said.
Four years after Rick’s death, his family has moved to a different home and started different holiday traditions as ways of coping with the loss. Rick’s younger brother, Michael, is 20 now, following in Rick’s footsteps with an interest in a wildlife career and a degree from Texas A&M.
Dana now serves as treasurer for the Compassionate Friends of Galveston County. She often works with grieving families who need to tell their stories and find ways to remember their child.
“You don’t have to do it alone,” she tells them. “You’ve got to have some sort of knowing that you’re not alone, knowing you will live, you will carry on.
“You’ve got to find some small pockets of peace.”
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At A Glance
WHAT: The Compassionate Friends of Galveston County Candle Lighting
WHEN: Dec. 13; doors open at 5:30 p.m.; ceremony begins by 6:45 p.m.; Unity Candle lit at 7 p.m.
WHERE: First Baptist Church gymnasium, 1400 9th Ave. N., Texas City
DETAILS: Families can bring a memento and photo. Cookies and snacks for fellowship afterward.
Details to note
WHO: The Compassionate Friends of Galveston County
WHAT: Support meetings
WHEN: Second Monday of each month at 7 p.m. — the next meeting will be Jan. 2
WHERE: First United Methodist Church, 317 Fifth Ave. N., Texas City
DONATIONS: All gifts are tax deductible and used to reach bereaved families through newsletters, brochures, welcome packets, materials library and special events like the annual December Candle Lighting. Checks should be addressed to The Compassionate Friends, P.O. Box 568, Texas City, TX 77592
