We have all spent evenings with families whose children have taken the occasion to act out in the worst possible ways.
With dad, and often mom as well, working during the day, parenting is limited to a short period in the morning, dinner and a stretch of the evening.
Sometimes, keeping the children up results in children not getting enough sleep and in their developing bad sleep habits.
Common sleep problems include frequent awakening, talking during sleep, waking up crying, feeling sleepy during the day, having nightmares, bed-wetting, grinding teeth and waking early. While these may have deeper emotional causes, there are a number of steps parents can take to avoid or ease these problems.
Most important is to begin parenting with consistent routines for going to bed. Pick a bedtime that allows sufficient sleep, establish a routine of getting ready for bed and ready for sleep, and stick to it.
How much sleep do children need? Newborns sleep almost 16 hours a day, spreading it around in naps between feedings. At 2 months of age, infants sleep more at night than during the day. Between 4 and 6 months, infants begin to sleep through the night.
Toddlers younger than 5 need 11 to 13 hours, including a daytime nap. Children beginning school need 10 to 11 hours. And though your adolescent won’t admit it, he will function best on eight or nine hours sleep each night.
Here are some tips:
• Don’t just send children to bed. Allow a winding-down quiet time, at least 20 minutes — reading books or listening to quiet music. No TV.
• Establish a routine: changing the diaper, going to the bathroom, shower and brushing teeth, etc.
• Put children to bed awake so they learn how to fall asleep in bed by themselves. After the stories and the teeth are brushed, say goodnight, turn off the light and leave the room.
• Make sure the sleeping quarters are quiet, dark and not too hot or cold.
• Put infants on their backs to sleep.
• If your child gets up, don’t reward him but calmly and immediately lead him back to bed.
Tell him if he stays in bed, the door will remain open, but if he gets up, it will be shut (not locked) for from three to five minutes. Calmly put your child back to bed each time he gets out.
When he stays in bed for five minutes, open the door and praise him for doing a good job of staying in bed before saying goodnight.
• Avoid using the child’s bed as a place of punishment or play.
Making a natural sleep time a part of your child’s routine will give him the energy to handle the problems he will meet the following day.
Sally Robinson is a clinical professor of pediatrics at UTMB Children’s Hospital, and Keith Bly is an assistant professor of pediatrics in the UTMB Children’s Emergency Room. This column isn’t intended to replace the advice of a physician.
